love

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Month: June, 2016

Old man I see you walking there.

Oh, my dear old man what pulls you into the streets on this cold and rainy day?
Your shame so apparent every time that I say hey.
Your coat pulled about your shoulders, shaking as you freeze,
Walking I can see hurts your aching feet.
Your eyes so very broken your spirit gone and waned,
all life that you once had, has vanished now all drained.
Let me help you with your bag, let me help you cross the street,
Please at the very least, let me stop and greet.

Karen Hayward ©2016

Untitled.

I scan a lifetimes vocabulary for the right words,
I mentally rewind through the stories I have read, I search Shakespeare’s sonnets and tales of love,
I wonder if Chaucer can help or perhaps even Austen,she knew her stuff!
I consider Miss Havisham’s yellowing dress in the timeless room
symbolic of her love for he that would never return soon.
But Shakespeare nor Dickens nor Austen or Chaucer, created anything that transcends the oceans.
I replay every love song that my soul has sung along to, searching for emotions,
I search the melodies for the lyrics of the song
I search the beat for the answers but they’re wrong
I listen to the greats whose greatness have grown
I listen to the nameless, the newbies, the unknowns
I listen to the ones that repeat in my heart every day,
but you’ve heard them all before, they’re what you always play.
Perhaps I’ll search a lifetime to find the perfect way,
at least by then you’ll truly know, my love would always stay.

Karen Hayward ©2016

A wish upon a star.

I know I am a mixture I know I fit no box
The path that I have walked was full of stars and rock.
I know I make my choice and so I lose my voice,
I know I live in shadows the sunlight burns my skin,
I know I am expressive warming only to the sin.
I know that I am broken I refuse to bend my knee,
I have worked so very hard so that I am truly free.
I do not trust a person, I do not trust their words,
and even I do wonder what happened to this girl.
But I took me to the darkness where lying is the norm,
and now I see it everywhere in every single form.
So I strip away humanity and look only at the core
of all my broken fantasies, sex, we know is sure.
You cannot fix my pieces, although try I know you will,
I cannot fix the cracks, although try, I know I will.
You cannot give me everything and all is what I need,
Is it wrong for once I want, to be a person’s Queen?
And so I do declare, I am everything and more
do you understand, of this I am so very sure.
I learned the world does lie,
I learned to never cry.
I learned that I can stand, upon my lovely feet,
I learned to help myself on the days when I am beat.
I learned the world is black and full of putrid hate,
And so I dropped my eyes to hell,  accepted my dark fate.

Like the phoenix I did burn my body turned to ash,
The darkness was engulfed I wish they’d been a flash.
I am not perfection…well okay perhaps I am,
Life is not a ride just an over crowded tram.
I’m breaking all my rules a hypocrite to the death,
But I am pretty sure the devils upped and left.
You cannot fix my pieces but I can tell you what they are,
perhaps beneath the darkness,
we can wish upon a star.

Karen Hayward ©2016

Short wave frequency.

A north wind whistles caught on the medium wave of an AM radio.The sudden startle as silence is pierced, an angry cackle bursts into the room, it comes, it goes, silence ensues. My fingers are tired from turning the handle. I want to hear the song that beats in my veins.

Karen Hayward

Insane.

Do you see my demons do you hear them weep?
Do you hear my screams as they wake me from my sleep?
Do you see my sins etched upon my soul,
or the shame in my spirit that fills me with woe?
Can you feel my emptiness does it echo at your name,
do you feel my angel that keeps me very tame?
Or do you feel my passion does it light that dwindling flame,
Is it this pleasurable elation that keeps you so insane?

Karen Hayward ©2016

Pretend I gave it a title.

Cant you just pretend
you care,
pretend you see me.
Pretend you want to
make me happy,
pretend you feel the
passion.
Pretend you understand.
pretend I mean something,
pretend I’m not alone.
Pretend that you hear me.
Pretend I am more than
a token exchange.
Can’t you pretend at least,
to hear me when I ask for help.
Pretend you notice.
Can’t you pretend that you don’t see through me.
Just pretend that I matter.

Karen Hayward ©2016.

Escapism

In my dreams when sleep has pulled me in and held me captive,
we are naked. Our clothes lay strewn across the floor,
decades of pain left gingerly at the door,
Our bodies scream ‘Are you sure,’
Our eyes calmly whisper, ‘we need more’.
In the dead of night when I have escaped my confines,
and with the moons glow for light
we abandon our fears somewhere in the night,
as we devour the new sight,
locked in our room of creation we give in to the fight
for in this moment,
we are all that is right.

Karen Hayward ©2016