A topnotch site

Month: November, 2016

Without night I would never feel.


…and the stars become the shattered remains of my soul,

the darkness echoing the non existent beating of my heart

tears translucent as the moons perfect fluid beams

as twilight falls and I am alone, in the darkness I find only this

when distractions are gone leaving me in the lost silence of love.




Look to the stars …and I thank you.

Thank you. For you see I do not seek revenge as you do. I am whole and require no one to fill a void. I do not seek to be loved in a loveless world i shall love myself   Thank you for deceit shall be my stepping stone and callous spite shall be the wind beneath my wings as I walk into a future of my making. A future I shall fill with love, laughter, kept promises and a trust known by so few.  I am soul that requires not love but life not darkness but light. I shall not attend the masquerade ball for my mask fell away many years ago and beneath it’s plastic edge that cuts deep within the soul I found I had magnificent beauty, the strength of a thousand lions the desire of s million kings and the motivation to full fill my every dream. Thank you, for I shall not seek revenge as you so believed I would, I shall not sink to the depths to be among you I shall reach for the skies, dance with the stars you so long for. Look up and when you dream of that future in which you become the success you so desire….look to the stars and you will see me. 
Karen Hayward ©2016

Beneath clear skies. 

Benesth clear skies I listen as every star whispers an ancient memory across an unknown frequency. The universe resisting before my eyes as winds sweep through leaves stripping bare dying trees. All things must die before regeneration. The dark skies caress my soul  comfort in the cold tears stolen on the moon beam of indifference and so it is ponder where starts the devil’s feed and the angels wings. Gabriel, Gabriel hear these pleas within me walk me into the light show me for one more fight that I need no one. Raphael your essence spills across my existence heal now what has been broken so I may once again swim within the realm of the stars. Silence wihin the solitude and I am at peace the howling wind a lullaby of torture that has no claim upon my soul and he stark emptiness of skies so clear I can count the illuminations. Allow me now beneath wings of protection to survive in source alone and cleanse my soul of the poison inflicted through others. May I not pass judgement where his lord himself shall place his hand and guide toward the neverland of purgatory. Oh clear skies of heaven your lights are the reason my heart beats. 
Karen Hayward ©2016

Oldest tricks

Debase for sweet silence

passive aggressive

atoms disperse,

choice without choice.

Paw the outer shell

or kill the soul,

Angel wings


I am Pandora’s box

you the escaped infliction.

Repose comes at a cost

paw at my outer shell

for I am numb.

For I am numb and without

fight, paw at my outer shell

repose my reward, a moments repose.





It is said that we are judged by our God not on our finest moments but our darkest. When all lights extinguished it is he choices we make then that determine our true selves. 
Karen Hayward ©2016

Do you?

Do you?
It’s a question I ask daily,
I try to believe it is reality,
but I know it’s just a fantasy.


Lost thoughts.


You didn’t penetrate my world you smashed down the God damn wall waltzed on in and took up residence.